


long after this begun

by mcmotzkin



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gender Related, Nonbinary Character, Other, Sciles if you squint, scallison if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-20
Updated: 2015-12-20
Packaged: 2018-05-07 23:55:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,246
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5475296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcmotzkin/pseuds/mcmotzkin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the bite comes with enhanced senses and unexpected gender issues</p>
            </blockquote>





	long after this begun

**Author's Note:**

> Oh boy. I wish someone else had written this so I didn't have to, but I sort of wanted it out there and I don't know anyone who I could ask to write this for me. I do not know what I'm doing here, but I tried to not get into things that it's not my place to write about, but if this is upsetting let me know.

 

Here is something you never had to consider before: you’re not entirely sure what your gender is anymore. That is, you’re standing in the locker room after practice, having busied yourself absentmindedly on your phone until everyone else had gone. You’re all washed us, but your sharp new senses can still smell the air heavy with hormones and sweat and teenage boys. There is a full-length mirror in front of you (and honestly why is that here? - As if there isn’t enough ego in this room to fill a whole stadium,) - it’s pretty evident you have a dick and balls and a notable absence of breasts and a vagina. You must be a boy then, no?  
  
Just the thing is, _the thing_ , you think, is that your wolf doesn’t know the definition for gender or sex or anything else we silly little humans came up with. It knows it can run and hunt and carry pups. That, you think, is the catch. You put your clothes on and head home.  
  
It’s two days after your first moon and you can still feel the urgency with which your newly formed nose sniffed the air around you, _is it time? is it time_?- and the rush of relief that swept through you when you realized it wasn’t time yet. You made joyful sounds at the moon as you ran.  
  
You don’t bother trying to understand how is it possible for your wolf to have the ability to give birth when you body hardly changes; you’re a werewolf, it’s not like you can get properly surprised anymore. Instead, you do the Stiles thing and start researching wolf mating cycles. You’re not sure how applicable that is to the supernatural, but you’d like to be prepared.

  
-

The wolf is only ever “It”. You can’t exactly call it “she”, can you now? Not when all you thought _that_ meant had been turned on its head. Its mind feels like wind and the spicy smell of fear by which it finds its prey. It’s neither masculine nor feminine. Is it any wonder, then, that the combined duality of the both of you cannot, does not know how to conform to something so unknowable and unnecessary as gender? If you concentrate hard enough you can feel the wolf digging for space inside that metaphysical substance that is _you_. There it will settle until you both are ready to merge. You don’t want to merge, though, you want to keep feeling it breathe steadily, comfortingly somewhere at the depths of you. Maybe you don’t want to know what will happen to your identity once you’ve become one.

-

The second moon had come and gone. You went online and ordered a lunar calendar. The day of the full moon is represented on its pages with a cartoon wolf, its tongue lolling out, staring at you like it could make things somehow better.  
  
  
Coach puts you up as an example and you hear him screaming, “Look at McCall! He’s stepped up his game, what are you all waiting for?” and you just want to shout-  
  
 _What does that even mean? He? Once a month I start my running in the woods, which by the way is something I do now, with sniffing myself to make sure I’m not giving out any scents or else, you know, I might just get pregnant! So what does being male even mean?_  
  
But you stay quiet. You wait for the practice to end. You go to the designated locker room, shower and change. At home you jerk off in you bed for the first time since you were bitten, keeping the window closed, breathing in your own scent for hours. The wolf does not mind, it doesn’t feel there is something wrong with your body parts. You think you might be ok with that, too. You fall asleep and the shout from before feels a lot less heavy.

-

Things with Stiles are easier in a way - he doesn’t talk about you in school, he talks at you, so the wrongness of it isn’t as sharp around him. That is until you overhear him discussing you with Allison ( _who seems to genuinely like you and is sweet, and kind, and undeserving of this mess_ ). You gather your notebooks from the locker as they say goodbye. He walks towards you in the empty hall and you feel your hands shake; you snap, twisting around to face him,  
  
“Don’t say that about me, ok?”  
  
“Say what?”, He sounds bewildered and cautious, maybe because you growled at him until he backed himself into a corner between the wall and the lockers. At least he’s not afraid.  
  
“He.”  
  
“Um. Yeah, sure dude. I mean - buddy. No problem Scotty. Please don’t eat me.”, And he’s still wide-eyed and frozen like _prey_. You sigh and feel all the emotions draining out of you. You wish you could run your hand over the soft of his buzz-cut, but you’re not sure you’re welcome anymore. You shoulder your school bag and start walking home. He follows.  
  
The next day he comes to school looking like he hadn’t had a lot of sleep, but he doesn’t ask about your outburst, he just introduces you to “ _they_ ” and waits, too still, for your nod of approval. You want to put your nose in his neck and rub until he feels as warm as you do at that moment, but you’re in public so instead you punch his shoulder lightly and hope he knows. Despite the odd looks - he never refers to you as male again.

-

Allison takes the change in stride, because she is, quite frankly, incredible.

-

Things screech to a halt one day at the old Hale house, where Derek sometimes likes to have his ‘pack’ meet to assert his authority with some pointless conversation. You step inside and feel the hackles rise on your wolf’s skin, your hands grow heavier and the fingers suddenly end with claws. Stiles looks from one teenager to another, taking in their poised bodies, all turned your way. He freezes,  
  
“Ah. Scott, pal, love of my life, sibling of my soul - would you care to tell me why everyone in this shithole is sniffing you like you’re something delicious, yet perplexing?”  
  
You feel a bit like sighing in fond exasperation, but some of the tension leaves your body nonetheless. He’s always crafty with his words when he’s anxious. And he’s anxious now, for you, you can smell it, just like you can smell confusion from the others and your own rising anger.  
  
“That,” your nostrils flare with a silent challenge, “is because my wolf is in heat.”  
  
You smelled it on yourself this morning, and you went about your day anticipating some sort of confrontation. Your eyes shift to Stiles and you can practically read his thought process; you sort of pride yourself on it, it’s something people who are close to each other do and you revel in the knowledge. He pieces together all the facts, the thing you didn’t have the guts to tell him, and puts his body in front of yours, hands reaching back, clutching at your wrists. His nose and lip twist in a show of contempt as he addresses the others,  
  
“Don’t you fucking touch them.”  
  
  
Slight shoulders and freckles and the softest of hair. The wolf stretches its paws in the back of your mind; it wants to give him pups.  
You’re pretty sure you’re in agreement.

**Author's Note:**

> as usual - I do not even remotely remember the canon. oops.


End file.
